Tonight

Tonight someone asked me "what's your story?" and I realized it would take hours and hours,for my story to be told.Every each and one of us has a story I guess.No one actually asked me that question before to be honest,and it was nice for a change.It was different and it meant so much that I'm actually writing about it.I'm not easily impressed,it ain't easy to surprise me with questions.Yet,she managed to have an actual impact on myself.It's the little things like this one that I keep memories of.
Anyhow,my answer was rather vague and short,and that cause I wasn't expecting that question.I'll probably never meet her again,but if I do I'll try to answer it better.

Have a great Christmas night everyone!
Love,Just.

A labyrinth of dust

Walking through the labyrinth's alleys,searching for a way out.A neverending maze,filled with smoke and fog and mirrors.He can't see what's in front of him until it's too late..too late to turn back.So many times he thought he found the way,so many times he has mistaken.How long until giving up,for how long will he seek?Delusive creatures keep fooling him,filling his mind with empty promises.It all goes into dust in the end.Forever binded within the labyrinth,becoming one with it.
Afterall..there might be no way out,no happiness,just fantasy.

Love,Just.

All the lights

It's late,the streets are empty.He's the only soul wandering around,looking for something..an emotion.Hoping something will happen,hoping for a ray of moon light to show him the path.

He's speeding like crazy on the empty,poorly lighted streets.It's only him and the radio in the background,all alone in the deserted city.Soon,the pedal hits the floor.All the lights become rays,and the colors are so amazing,that for a second..he forgets about everything.In the end,that's what he was looking for,a moment of nonexistence,a moment out of this world that we call "reality".

Love,Just.

Shattered shadows in the light

 Once again,he failed.He's been chasing for happiness,and for a while..he thought he caught a glimpse of it.But it was fake,that was no glimpse but rather shadows;pieces of shattered shadows that for a moment,were able to reflect some light.But the beam travels fast,and it fades..faster than it appears.He might be sad cause he was fooled,but in the end he's thankful.For every sunset there's a sunrise.The sooner it sets,the less time before it comes back up.

Love,Just.

Society..the biggest theatre

 The mask he wears succeeds to deceive anyone,anyone but himself.It works for a while and gets him through the day,but not the nights.When the darkness falls upon his windows,when everyone goes to sleep,that's when his mask loses it's powers.It's only then he takes it off,his only option being facing himself,his real self.He'd blame society,but the truth..he knows it.He's the one choosing to wear the mask and for the simple reason it makes it easier...to face the world out there.Does that make him a coward?Or maybe just lazy,commodious?

  Everyone wears a mask,it's only the depth and the amount that it hides,that makes the difference.That's what defines the complexity.If only his would be more simple..

Love,Just.

The missing piece

 The image he had about her was blurry and faded.Like a lake on a spring morning,he could see the outlines and the outlines only.The only certainty was the passion he felt that night,a memory of feelings.Her smooth lips against his..bursting with passion."L." made him feel alive,she did what others were unable to.Whether she feels the same or not..at least L. gave him hope,hope that there's someone out there.Someone special,able to get him out of the mist and back to reality.

 All this time he thought the missing piece was perfection,but wrong was he.He has mistaken special for perfect,waiting for the wrong train in the right station.Nevertheless he sees the train coming,any moment now."Good things might come to those who wait"

Hope everyone had a great day,like I did.
Love,Just.

He met death

 He looked death straight in the eye,and smiled.A cold arrogant look,that says "You can't get me!My film is far from ending".The intriguing part,it was all in slow motion which makes him capable of recalling every second and every detail.Why did he not just freeze?How could he have enough time to react?Religious people would say "God",some would just blame it on faith,but he knows it was all chance.He rolled the dice and got the big number,so death had to pay up.

*not a short story*
Love,Just.

The balcony scene

 Imagine a balcony on the second floor.It has a big wide glass door,rough edges,white color head to bottom.He's standing there leaning on his right foot,enjoying a good smoke while watching the people below him.The jeans on him fit perfectly into the fancy new kicks.He's wearing a blue jacket,it looks like one of those biker jackets only its not leather.Hair covering his ears,gently tilted to the right;the color is dark,which makes his green eyes seem like a show-off.His left eyebrow is pierced there's a tunnel in his left ear.It's like he is waiting for something,or someone.


 And there she is,sophisticated and with that adult apparel,yet acting childish and young.Darken blue dress that goes down to where the knees begin,gently stretched on her perfect body.Dark,tall heels that make her beautiful legs stand out.The top clothing is roughly described as a white blouse,cause the moment you look up,it's like her eyes will not let you go.Those precious sea-blue eyes that just take your breath in an instant.Her red flaming hair is the last piece,and only then,you have the Mona Lisa in front of your eyes.

To be continued..


Love,Just.

Between worlds

He spends more time in fantasies than real world.Knowing which one is which became a struggle,a battle between soul and mind. Fighting reality can be confusing.

Love,Just.

Another bottle down the drain.

 Another mistake,another lesson learned.Unlike the typical person,I don't regret mistakes.So instead of feeling bad for being fooled,I'm happy...cause next time,well next time I'll know what to expect,I'll see it coming.My choices are not bad nor good...they're just decisions.
In the end,every mistake gets me closer to perfection...even if I'll never get to reach it fully,the goal is getting as close as possible.

Love,Just.

Music for the soul

He drinks to remember that he must forget,and drunk being him,he cannot be upset.

How can he be sad and not care at the same time?Hatred surrounds him,but anger is absent.Tick..tock..and weeks pass by in the blink of an eye.But with each blink another week has gone,yet nothing has changed.At least he got his music to keep his soul in check.

Love,Just.

A state of mind

 He feels the emptiness inside,a void that's neither white nor black.There is no feeling that describes it,no definition for his state of mind.Soulless among the others,an unknown entity in the realm of ghosts.He has no past or future,time becoming an undefined constant.He finds himself at the edge of a gray sea,surrounded by white mist.There's hell hounds howling in the distance,a white owl hooting nearby.He must take a step,but which direction should he go?Not knowing if to jump or lay,he can't do anything but stay...

"My aim is to put down what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way I can tell it." - Hemingway
 Love,Just.

The moonbeam

 It was the 80's,they were young and in love.He was a young journalist wannabe,in his first year of college;she was on her way to become an actress.They didn't live together,but they had a place of their own.There was this tree by the river,a young not so tall Judas-tree that had these pinkish-red flowers;it was the prettiest tree among the others.They used to spend their time by that tree on spring nights..talking or just standing there,listening to each others breath and the beautiful purl of the flowing river.On the nights with a clear sky,the Moon would reflect a bright white light on the water surface,which seems like fireflies,dancing above the water.
 -"You see the moonbeam?That's you!And I am the river,always on the move but every time there to reflect the moonbeam" he says.

 -"But the moonbeam is there only on clear sky nights!Doesn't the river feel lonely when she's not there?" asks she humbly.

 -"It does,the river feels lonely everyday but lives with hope that night shall come and they'll be reunited" *sighs silently*
And they fall asleep..

 But the river eventually dries-up,leaving the moonbeam all by herself.Some might call that "course of nature"...others just broken promises.
Love,Just.

The darkness takes over

 His care ceased long time ago but for some reason the blood is still rushing when those moments turn up.Those moments when he should feel something or somehow...it's just anger.Adrenaline kicks in every time but he must not let it take control,cause if he does..Hell might just unleash.He's not afraid of the pits or the flames,that's just collateral.It's what happens after that scares him,when the flames are gone and the pits have vanished.
 How long will he be able to contain it,when will the beast finally break the cage to take over?He only hopes that such a moment will not occur,but that's as much as he can do.It happened before,the darkness took over and the beast showed its teeth.The evilness it's capable of,inspired so much fear that even it's master took a step back.It makes Doomsday seem like a fairytale.
Small cracks appear on the chains with every day they taunt him.
The beast knows that the day is near...

Just.

Dust and despair

 He gently opens his eyes...It's morning,the nature's coming back to life.Water drops..slowly falling from the leaves,down to the ground.The storm had left those places continuing its journey,pouring on other fields by now.
-"What happened?Why am I laying on this dusty floor?"
His memories are shady and blurred.He remembers entering the room,but has no clue of the reason he's on the floor.
-"I must've fallen asleep from all the liquor.Oh!If only I could blame the liquor.."
There's ashes on the floor,side by side with the burnt cigarettes.He feels like he'd just came back from a forgotten place,a place of memories,a place that belongs in the past.If only she was there right now,to see the grownup him...
-"What am I doing here?!Why must I relive those moments?!Wish I could let it go.."
Confused and disoriented,he doubts his sanity by now.What would she think about him if she'd see this picture?
-"I must control myself!I cannot let him take control..my dark passenger"
He left the room and closed the door behind.All that's left now is the dust in the room and an empty bottle of Jack.

 *It's a continuance to the chapter "The storm".Hope someone will enjoy this*

Love,Just.

Wonderful weekend

12 P.M. Saturday (Nijikon day 1):
- I left home for the Nijikon,but not before eating my breakfast (yes,that's right.I eat breakfast around 12' on weekends).*Nijikon = similar to a comic-con,but the theme is more based on animes*
-@Nijikon,wandering around.Pretty girls on the left,cute girls on the right,pretty girls dressed as cute anime characters in the front.A bit of chitchat here and there,just small talk and random stuff.
9 P.M. Saturday:
-Instead of going home I decide for a "sleepover".It's freezing outside,we choose to cut the road thru the park,and the funny part...the guy in who's house we're supposed to crash suddenly says "Ok,which way now?" "Excuse me?You live here..you're the one leading!".So we wondered around the dark alleys of the park for like 40 minutes, until we finally found the right way.

2 A.M. Sunday :
-Already drunk by now
-We keep drinking,some movies,a bit of music now and then

6 A.M. Sunday :
-Pretty much everyone is passed out by now,or just sleeping

11 A.M. Sunday (Nijikon day 2):
-Back @Nijikon,obviously very hung over,possibly still drunk.
-More wandering,less chitchat

6 P.M. Sunday -Finally home.And what do I do,instead of going to sleep.I start reading blogs and writing this post.By now I'm  pretty much a zombie,and by the time I press the "Post" button,I decide my level of zombieness has reached it's limit.Good night!

Love,Just.

Yesterday changed.Which way is up?

 They say turning eighteen comes with drastic changes,but I always imagined it's just a myth.Few months have passed,and the pattern was unchanged.Only to wake up on day surrounded by a mist of doubt.

  Yesterday's facts became today's questions,old questions just raised more of those,while certainties just faded into the abyss of thoughts.I boarded the train and ended up deciding whether I want or not to reach it's destination.

Love,Just.

It's about B. // Kindness or fear?

 Today I was mad about some school stuff..."killer-face" mad!It might seem usual,but I'm almost never mad about school,I never reach the level of anger I've reached today.Normally I'd be a bit sad,maybe some sarcastic statements here and there.But then,the strangest thing have happened as B. just randomly hugged me,resting her head on my chest for a moment followed by a short kiss on the cheek.I got random hugs before,but none were like this one.For a moment that hug scared away all my problems,and those few seconds felt like hours.I guess it's just the fact it was from B. and everything that happened,and didn't happen between us.I'd give a whole night with any other girl for the the feeling that B. gave me for a few seconds.




Isn't it weird that random people you know,start being sweet to you when it's obvious you're mad?Why do they do that..really now?!Do they come true at those moments,removing their daily masks,all out of compassion?If you want to know what a person really thinks about you,the moment they're mad is the right one.Some will say it was the anger and the nerves that talked,not them...I beg to differ!

The thing about being mad,is that you don't overthink the words that come out of your mouth;you just tell'em out straight up.Not everything that comes out of the anger are real thoughts,it's just the little things...the personal truthful opinions.We should not however leave out the fact that some of those are situational.It might be a short term opinion,like calling someone stupid,for the simple reason they did something that you believe it testifies for stupidity at the given moment and only then.

So..what if people act like that with you because they know you're mad,and somehow on an upper level of consciousness they're afraid you might tell them what you really think!?Angry/Mad people tend to act a bit mean..so why don't the people around them do what they usually do when they confront mean people,ignoring them or reacting back.Maybe I'm wrong and they just feel your anger and the need of kindness.

.
*side note: on the 2nd part of the post I'm talking in general,so make abstraction of the moment about B. as since she's not random *

Love,Just.




 

The storm

 He remembers every detail,even after all these years.Her soft skin going against his,her jasmine scent that filled the sheets of the bed and her eyes,the most beautiful blue eyes he ever seen.He used to say that looking into her eyes was like a journey into the depths of the ocean..a clear see-through blue color,giving you a warm pleasant feeling.

Out of nowhere,the entire room lights up followed by a thunder coming from outside.

"-It's a storm!She's afraid of storms.She needs me to be there and tell her it's okay,while hugging her gently.The thunder scares her,which is cute cause it makes her seem so innocent."

Another lightning strikes,the thunder following up faster this time."It must be close"

"-But that's the past,that's all in the past...I can't keep pretending it's the present."

The best part about a storm is the moment it ends,cause only then you realize the calm of nature and how quiet it is.For every problem we have in our lives,there's the moment of joy when the problem ends.We should cherish the end instead of being sad about the storm. 

I felt like continuing my short story.More chapters should come up following

Love,Just.

 

The ol' house

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I've always considered fall the start of the loop.Autumn for me is the moment when the clock turns 1:00,and starts the loop all over again.It usually comes with a bit of melancholy and sadness,which is weird if I take in consideration the fact that I'm a rain person.

I like the rain,I love the gloomy days.I find those days a need in our lives.Think about it,without the clouds..there's no reason for happiness when the sun shines.Now back to my homemade cookies,my hot cup of tea and least but not the last,my lovely movies.

Love,Just.

 

It's the journey not the destination

Some time ago I've come to the conclusion that TIME goes too fast.I feel like I'm rushing thru...the days seem too short,weeks appear to be just fractions of a month that go by in the blink of an eye.Sometimes I'm afraid to blink,scared of the possibility that by the time my eyelid opens back the day turns into night.Most of the time we think of the future,waiting for what's next to happen instead of enjoying the moment,living it.I get the part where "life's a journey",I just don't know why we rush it.The point is you gotta stop now and then,look around and enjoy the moment..cause there won't be more of it,you can't eat the same apple twice.Now now,I'm aware there's nothing new in what I wrote here,so just consider it a reminder for the ones that read it ^_^

Love,Just.

A small glimpse of myself

 I'm the rider in the back of the train wagon,the shady person that's rarely observed unless he chooses  to make himself noticed.A ghost...one restless soul just passing by and taking notes.For the people that know me I'm just the friendly,quiet dude,who's lines if not sarcastic,make them question themselves.All that might be facts..or just an image created on purpose to deceive everyone,but the ones that really want to and actually manage to get me for real.It's up to you to decide whether I'm worthed knowing or just walked by.

Love,Just.

When everything is nothing

 He's unlike most of the people his age,his worries rarely include "love problems" and even when they do there's more than that.If he were to write down every thought and draw every picture that comes thru his mind,he'd fill thousand of pages...that on an easy day.There's times when he feels cursed,times when he wishes he'd be dumber...cause maybe then he'd stop making so many connections,filling in so many scenarios and capturing so many shots.At the end of the day though,he knows that's not a curse but rather a gift..and sooner or later he'll find a use for it.

"Sooner or later",those words don't seem to make him gain any hope,but time is relative.We seem to seek for the next and just look back on the previous,which is normal cause the way we perceive time is only as a unidirectional constant on which we have no control.As we know it,it only goes on way and the backwards button does nothing more than replay for as long as there's memories.

The rain drops fall on the ground but they can never go upwards.The smoke once out of the cigar it can never go back.Ashes will never return to their previous form no matter the origins,alike the humans which,once the metamorphosis with the earth is done they cannot separate from earth ever again.

Some of us are still waiting for the day time changes direction...hope is essential in our existence.

PS:I deviated from the track on the second part,hope that doesn't make it confusing.Love,Just!

Over the Sun

 He doesn't want to be just another card in the deck,not even an Ace.He has higher dreams..."why be the higher card,when you can be the dealer".Maybe others are fine being one of the four Aces,but not him!He refuses to be another soulless human being,he refuses to be like those he walks by everyday.I guess he could be compared to "Icarus",whom wanted to reach for the Sun.The difference is...Icarus tried to get close to the Sun,he wanted to touch it,he dreamed of being as high as the Sun.But he won't do such a mistake,he won't try to be an equal to the Sun,but rather higher,better,brighter than it.And he won't stop until he succeeded,even if that means it's the last thing he does!

 If learning from your mistakes isn't enough,learn from others as well.

Link to the artwork

Old habits

  You got it all figured out,you got over it and you thought "that's done".Only,sooner or latter you learn that old habits die hard.There's always a crack in the walls that lay within your mind,no matter how perfect you think you've designed them.She'll find that crack,and she'll use it.A small glimpse of the past is just enough to trigger an avalanche of memories.Now I'm thinking I may sound a bit like a cliché,excuse me if I do.

  Basically,you can't actually forget things that really matter to you,in one way or another..(not willingly)!All you can do is bury them deep,and hope they won't ever reach the surface!

 Link to the picture's owner.The picture is not mine!

Underneath our skin

  Humans are complex,underneath our appearance there's a story.Have you ever noticed the random people you pass by,everyday?Every one of them has a story to tell..more or less!Most of us only judge by the looks.We divide people into masses and types,instead of seeing each and every one of them as a single,unique human being.The first and most common categories are made by color of the skin.If we elevate from there we get more categories,based on clothing,looks,age,sex and so on...

 Basically as soon as the information from the optical nerve gets to the brain we start making connections,trying to fit that person into a pattern,associating him or her with a type.I'm not implying that's wrong nor right.I do believe tho,there's a wrong way and a right way of making those connections.

In the end,every face tells a story,and I believe they're all worth hearing.

 

I've started reading a lot recently.Not fiction books or stories but practical books,like body language and social behavior analysis,also a bit of Freud now and then.I must say reading is really worthed and I'm ashamed I realized that this late.Reading changes the way you think,the way you act,and the way you see the world around you...well,at least that's what reading does to me.

Ha..if my "friends" would read this,they'd laugh in my face and torture me with lame 'nerd jokes' forever.That makes me think that maybe I should enlarge my friend circels.The only problem about that...there's either total nerds with no social life or dummies that got a social life,the ones that combine those two are hard to find.

Time for bed,laters =]

A change of look

I totally changed my blog's appearance cause I felt like the old one was too girl-ish.Hope you  like the new look!Take care ^^

Ever since he was little he wished and he waited to grow up,to be on his feet and follow his dreams.There's so many things he would do and such a short time.He would do everything,if only life were long enough.But having so much to accomplish it pulls him down,all those wishes.He doesn't wait for them to be granted but struggles to achieve everything with his own powers.The only problem is that he never goes all the way,never finishes what he started.He hates that but doesn't know how to change it.How could he?.He hates himself for not having a stronger will,for not going all the way.

In the end all he gets is regrets.

It's latte,the entire town is sleeping.They're all tucked underneath their blankets,deep asleep...lost into the land of dreams.Everyone but her...she refuses to leave the reality.It's like she feels she's not allowed to,she feels trapped and afraid,afraid to pass into the unknown...knowing she can't control it.She walks into the dark room,but you can't hear any noise.Like her feet never touch the old wooden floor,the same floor that normally squeaks every time.It feels surreal,and it scares her...she needs the proof that this is real and not a dream.

The window is open,but she can't hear no wind.Not even the owl that's always by the window,howling in the dark.Is it possible?Did she fall asleep without realizing?Maybe it's just her mind playing games.Paranoia and anxiety takes in,making her unable to move,or giving the impression she can't.She's never been so scared before.She manages to get on the bed,laying there on her back,with her hands symmetrically placed."That's it!" she said,and then she closed her eyes.

Strange feelings

  Thirty-two days,nine hours and thirty-six minutes from the moment I begun to write this.That's when my last high school year starts.It's like a deja vu for some reason,and that's weird.I can almost see "my old desk".It's been recently cleaned so when I get close enough,the smell of  cheap industrial cleaning chemicals floods my nose .It's slightly irritating,but somehow it pleases me...maybe that's because I associate that smell with the new beginning,cause after all,"it's the first day,of the rest of my life".

  

I slowly take my place,slowly observing the environment.Being in the first row I turn around for a moment,taking a short look at the big picture,a small glimpse of my classmates's faces and everything that surrounds me.It feels like I've known them forever,It's like I lived my entire life between those four walls.Trapped inside,but knowing it won't last long before I have to leave.I take a close look at the desk itself.You can still see the scratches I made with my pen for the simple reason I was too bored.Those marks,randomly carved into the wooden desk,those are the only proof of my humble existence as a student in that particular high school,on that one floor,in that very one room,the proof that I,and no one else,was there.

But you and me both know know that those won't last forever,either.

Make a wish!

            It's been a while now since i posted something.The time just passed by i guess...My schedule was pretty full,so to say;I've been busy going to weddings,visiting the country side,having my birthday..Ha!How about that?I just turned 18 few days ago.Most of the people celebrate this age with enthusiasm,they prepare and make plans few months before,they get big parties where they invite all their friends...but not me,I refused to do any of that stuff.Some people would say I'll regret that latter on,and maybe they're right.Maybe I will regret it,maybe I'll wish I would've partied hard and invited lots of people and so on..but right now it doesn't feel that way.I'm not happy nor sad about becoming eighteen,I'm careless (don't know if that's the right word..hope you get what I mean).So what if I'm eighteen?Now I can drink legally,I can go to strip clubs,I can get a driving license (which I am,just signed up for the driving school ^_^) but with all that comes something else...now I am responsible for my actions!I'm supposed to be a grownup now,or to start being one,and that's ok cause I've been waiting for this my whole life and now I got it.The question is:what if I won't like it?Becoming a grownup,being a grownup?I'm sure I've heard this many times "It's the journey that matters,not the destination".We,or I..rush for the destination and not enjoy the journey,the bad thing is that I'm aware of it but I keep doing it.That's just who I am.
This post turned out to be something else than what I was going for,guess I got caught up in the moment.Have a good night bloggers =]

Decisions decisions

How can a person know which decision was the right one?How could one know,left would've been better than right?As since you chose to go one way,the other way is unknown.Is it possible that left was better than right?Yes.Can you know if that possibility verifies to be true?No.You can only assume.People usually tend to assume they made the wrong choice when something goes bad,it's the human nature to blame and question your own decisions,but it's wrong.My point is,overthinking your actions and choices is pointless,you made a choice,you took an action,you made a decision..live with it!Cause in the end,all those decisions you've made your whole life,lead you to where you are right now.Some might take that the wrong way,cause if they're in a crappy situation right now they'll blame themselves...that's not right,cause tomorrow their whole situation might change,so I ask you..were all those bad decisions?Some might not get it,some might take it the wrong way,but I trust some will understand what I'm saying here.All I know is,I've been fascinated by this my whole life.Everytime I must take a decision I think about it for a bit,but then I stop and tell myself "Go with it fool!You might just be happy in the end".I hope someone agrees with me,and remember "Good things might come,to those who wait!"

Observing,and being observed

Sometimes I sit at the window on my balcony (I live in a 10 stores flat,on the 6th level) watching the city.I do that night or day,doesn't matter.During day I listen to the 'citys noise'..an ambulance here,a truck's big noisy horn there,sometimes just the small cars with their noisy engines.Sometimes I can hear some loud music coming from far away,probably from some teenagers apartment..or so I tend to believe.There is tho,a moment when it's really quiet even during day...sometime between 3 and 4 o'clock.It's actually so quiet that you can hear the wind whistling while it passes thru the small number of trees around the flats.I love that little moment of the day when even the streets around me are empty.It gives me shivers,most of the time.When the night falls,when most of the people go to sleep in their tiny apartments,that is when the silence falls upon the city.So I stand there,watching the dark streets (as far as I can see from my balcony of course ) and listening to the quiet of the night.Now and then a lost soul passes by on the dark street,coming home from a meeting,or a date,or a party..or maybe he just went out for a walk,the beauty is that,you never know!you can only assume and imagine..take a guess!Sometimes I'm the lost soul 'haunting' the streets,searching for an answer..and I like to believe there's someone else watching me from their balcony,standing there,in the dark,watching me as I get close just to slowly fade again on the dark alleys.

Good night dear city,good night citizens!

My addiction

I've spent the last 36 hours inside..of which 8 I've slept,and the rest were spent watching Prison Break.I just started this one,and I have to say I'm a tv-serials addict.I'm updated with the latest episode on 20 different serials and every time I finish one,I just randomly start watching another..I don't know why I do it,maybe its to get distracted from reality.*God it's so hot I can't even write my thoughts down..* I'ma stop this post here..I just can't find my words.It's like 40 degrees...

Artist: Teagan White
Link
She's a real artist with innovative ideas.The moment I've seen this I fell in love with her art <3

A fantasy?maybe.A purpose in life?definetly

As the Sun is eaten by the great blue sea,his sister Moon comes in to play,and so the darkness of the night fills in shadows,in every corner of the old wooden house.Meanwhile,a boy lays in bed hoping to fall asleep.His only desire,all that he wishes for is to just fall asleep.Cause he knows he'll see her again once he's asleep;that girl that keeps appearing in his dreams,that girl who yet he doesn't know she seems so familiar,warm and nice.He knows she's not real,he knows he can't just live in a dream but the feeling he has when he's with her,even inside a dream is something that no one ever felt before..not even him.They walk together thru deep forests just holding hands,they sit on the beach and their bare feet feel the cold sand,and they feel it as one.Their souls are so in sync that even the tiniest feeling is shared by both.If you ask him to describe her,he can't..cause only while asleep he knows her,only then they meet,only then they share feelings,emotions and thoughts.In the morning,all he has left of her is a feeling,a warm and nice feeling,like all that time he was sleeping he was home,he was in that place we all hope for,the place we all dream about finding,that place where you just feel you fit in and you never have nor desire to leave.Who is that girl,and how does she do that,how does she make him feel like that?.It's been like this for some time,it's been like this for so long he can't even remember when did all this start.His only purpose ever since was finding her while still awake.He travels around with nothing but hope for his success of finding 'the girl from his dreams' .

Note: I find it a must to excuse myself if I'm being a bit sloppy with my writing.I'm still new to this so don't judge too harsh.It felt natural to write it tho..

It's amazing how a good day can turn around in just two minutes,amazing how one of those terrible fights(argues) root from the smallest argues.It is almost like your brain has an anger button that just turns on in a second,sometimes for no good reason and you just 'rage'.If i didn't knew any better I'd say it's the primal instinct that does that,that old part of the brain that goes back billions of years to the time when Earth was populated by cavemen...I bet they did the same just for different reasons (survival?).How does one control that,and use it by freewill whenever he wants?I believe it would change a lot of things if we could,indeed,control that 'rage' that lays inside  all of us.And right now i have the impression i think too much...maybe i should keep it simple and stop having all these messed up thoughts about everything =]

Once again it's 'the end of the day' and i feel like i pressed the fast forward button on my life's remote,just as i woke up.Maybe it's just that I'm not doing anything important with my life,even though i have lots of things that i would like to do,i never do any...that's one of my bad sides i guess,i start things or think about starting but i never actually do what i intend to.Some would say I'm just being lazy..and maybe they're right,but i think it's not just that..it can't be!It's been like this for so long now,that i don't even remember the way it used to be when i 'pressed the play button' instead of the 'fast forward'..and I'm just afraid I'll wake up old and look back at myself,back when i was still young,back to the present in which I'm writing this,and I'll just regret i lived my life this way.I keep telling myself it's all gonna change soon..i will grow up,get a job,work on a career,maybe have a wife (I'm not very keen on the kids part right now),but then a doubt pops out of the darkness;that 'what if' that keeps me from falling asleep and pops up as a first thought just as i wake up.I do realize I'm just whining right now so pardon me please..I'm just being one of those regular teenagers with their regular problems,which is a good thing i guess..better than being a weirdo with real problems =] .Now it's time for me to continue my randomness:surfing,playing or watching random stuff over internet ^_^.But i will leave you with the song I'm  listening to,right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6O2ncUKvlg

Dave Rapoza's Art

I don't believe there's people that don't know about Ninja Turtles,we all loved them when we were kids didn't we.These are just a part of his "creations" and the way he made them look almost vicious and beastly says alot about him as an artist.The artist lives in Boston ,Massachusetts along with his girlfriend Chelsea.You can find more of his art on his own  Blogg

The first post

I'm not sure why i did this,why did i make myself a blogg..that's probably cause i felt like writing(typing) some of my thoughts down.I apologise if my english is abit rusty here and there,i'm not an american nor english,yet i choose to use this language cause it feels easyer to express myself for some reason.

I uhmm,i don't know exactly what other people post on their bloggs so i'll just do as i feel.Anywho..today is the 1st of July,more than 2 weeks of the summer holiday have passed by,yet i just dont know WHEN this happened..(what have i been doing for the past 2 weeks?) it's all blurry when i try to remember,i lost track of 'time' so to speak.But that isn't all i've lost in these 2 weeks;i've lost friends,friendships,past crushes and now i have a new set of feelings but for the same  "old" person,and these feelings are different from any other..they're happy and sad feelings at the same time which makes me  feel confused..what happened,when did i start being so "sentimental" is it the summer,or maybe the lack of ocuppation during summer..or maybe i was like this ever since i was born,i just didn't notice it.Reading this out loud,it seems like it's not me the one who wrote it..but what the hell,that's in my head so it must be me.I'm not sure if anyone will even read this but ohwell..
Song of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiFn5wUfaik