The white owl

It's late, the sky is dark. No stars to show him the way, not tonight. There's only black clouds, and traces of what appears to be a full moon. You can't see it behind the darkness, but a few dim yellow rays managed to escape through the cracks. Light finds it's way all the time, don't it? 
The white owl will guide him tonight. It spreads it's majestic wings in an attempt to cover the clouds, like a white veil floating in the wind. It's eyes shine through the night like a calling. 
Walking gently, he disappears in the night, as he follows the white owl.


"Can you hear me?"

Love,Just.

Amongst the shadows.

Standing tall amongst the shadows, his eyes lighting up the dark. He walked through the darkness for what felt like a thousand years. It is there in the dark that he has found beauty. In this awful place that takes part in his mind, he can create and mold. Give form and color to all that is faded and dark. Slay and destroy, in order to build and give life to his dreams. Little by little it all brightens up, one by one, yellow lights on a starry night. He gathers the pieces to make his soul whole again. He drowned into silence and dreamed of this moment. But the silence is gone, so he needs to keep going. 

Never stop, it never really ends.

"Can you hear me?"

Love,

Just.

A leap into the void.

He's standing in front of the pit. It ain't a metaphor for hell, there are no burning flames inside, no spikes or devils down below. Something far more terrible awaits in the darkness. Fear and nothingness, despair and sorrow. His own self, lost and troubled. He realizes now, he needs to get down there, to find himself among the shadows. So he decides to take a leap into the void. But fear no more, for he is going to return. 

The beauty about darkness, as well as fear, is that once faced it dissipates. The shadows scatter in the morning light. Sorrow can only fade away in front of happiness. 
This was the first, but not the final jump.



"Can you hear me?"

Love,
Just.

The Devil rides shotgun.

Wind howling through the half down window. The engine growls repeatedly in it's attempt to dance with the dirty road. A black mustang galloping through to the unknown. The broken speedometer is all the way to the right, one hundred and twenty Miles per hour. But he's running even faster, he can feel it. He keeps a steady hand on the wheel, knowing one small mistake and it all turns into a lump of metal. Fire and ashes, and trails of hot petrol on the cold senseless highway. For a second, he wants that.

He wants to feel something, even if death. To know there is no left regret.
He wants to rise, only to fall and rise again. The love, the joy, the fear and pain. 
He wants it all and something more. To find and lose, he wishes for.
Something to gain, something to lose. Tonight he's making no excuse.

He's not alone. The Devil rides shotgun tonight.



"Can you hear me?"

Love,Just.

She's just a phantom.

It's been a while since their last chat. Like a phantom she swept in and out of his life. Leaving no trace of her existence, no assurance of her connection with reality. He always thought it's rather odd, how even up close, he could not sense her scent. How from afar her big eyes always shined, brighter than any dark gem. 

All he's got is frames of motion. He's standing by the window, she's not too far away. He can not see her lips, a couple strands of hair are in the way. Yet somehow he knows, he knows she's smiling. Whenever he talked, she would turn completely towards him, locking her eyes on his. She wanted to make sure nothing is lost, none of the emotion within the words he spoke. 

Her picture slowly fades away. With every blow of wind, another layer of dust sets over. Eventually the dust will take over the memories, and he'll be left with all but a pile of ashes. Ashes ready to be blown away by every breath he draws. He wonders if she ever existed. 

Reality can get difficult to recognize without an anchor.

"Ooo- oo

Won't you meet me in the morning?

Ooo- ooo

You left without any warning

Ooo- ooo Oh-Oh

I don't know where to put you now

Ashes like snow

Where did you go-oh?" (Lilly Kershaw - Ashes like snow)

"Can you hear me?"

Love,

Just.

The gate

Walking below the leafless branches, through the dark place he once called forest. There is no forest anymore, the cold wind blew them all apart. One by one, they fell to the ground. Echoing in the dark as they hit the cold dirt. It's only now that he is able to notice all that's around him. He's in a maze.

He's been walking for long, hoping for more. Having no clue that he's slowly walking in circles, dancing with the leaves, talking to the wind. It is now, that he can truly see beyond the dark green veil, a veil that covered his eyes all along. 

From far away he notices, a tall iron gate. He starts running towards it, but the more he runs, the further he is. Every step he takes enlarges the distance. He can not reach the gate by any means, so he decides to stop. He stands still with his eyes closed as his arm reaches forward. Suddenly, he feels his fingertips against the gate. Eyes open and he sees it, the iron gate in front of him. A gate covered in dirt and rust, a gate that holds his dreams and hopes within.

In one swift motion he opens the gate and walks through it. The iron doors close behind him, and he wakes up in what appears to be another forest. He got out of the labyrinth, a labyrinth of smoke and ashes. He passed a gate but there's a thousand more to come. A thousand more, small paths to walk upon. He can not rest, and nor to stop. Another gate awaits him.



Love,
Just.

Five seconds

The stars are lot brighter from the 14th floor roof top. They are both on the ledge, legs hanging down to what appears to be an invitation towards a sudden death. Neither of them will say it out loud, but they're both sharing a thought. Five seconds, disguised as an eternity. That's how long it would take for them to end it all. One jump, two souls, and an uncertain destination. As cold and frozen as it is, the concrete would feel warmer than any of the hotel beds. Their journey would end with a bang.

Ah but what a shame, to fill her dress up all in red. A shame to smudge the color off her pretty lips, or to destroy that smile. 
She wouldn't dare to let him close those eyes forever. Not now, not ever.

There's pages to be filled, and chapters to end. Tonight they dance in total darkness, intoxicated but alive. 


Love,Just.

The window from afar

He sees the window from afar, as if divided by two frames. A yellow dim light brightens it up, a light that's always on when the darkness falls upon the window. It's far and yet so close.
One step, and through the clear glass he sees her.

-What are you doing, standing here by the window?
-I'm waiting for you, she says.

He looks at her but he can't see the details, just blurry shapes in a dim yellow light. He want's to reach to her but all he feels is cold glass. Their fingertips are against one another, melting the barrier between. Slowly and steady, soon there will be nothing to stop them. Every second that passes feels like eternity, but the seconds will pass. When that will happen he won't be on the outside anymore. She won't have to wait.


Echoing deep, she hears him "I'm almost there".



Love,Just.

The oak.

The old oak tree stands tall as they lay beneath it, on the cold autumn leaves. If it wasn't for the wind to assure him, he'd think it is all but a dream. An old story on what used to be a white page, before time left it's yellow prints all over. But he's not dreaming anymore, he can not be.
She's there but they can't touch each other. They touch, but they don't feel a thing. Her long blond hair, her green eyes the color of topaz, her fresh white-pink lips. They're all there right in front of him, but he can not see. Just as she can not feel his warmth while his arms are around her, neither the passion he puts into every kiss on her cold neck.
They are but ghosts, to one another. Both real, both fantasy. Two souls that don't exist together.


The old oak tree, stands tall.



Love,Just.