I've started reading a lot recently.Not fiction books or stories but practical books,like body language and social behavior analysis,also a bit of Freud now and then.I must say reading is really worthed and I'm ashamed I realized that this late.Reading changes the way you think,the way you act,and the way you see the world around you...well,at least that's what reading does to me.

Ha..if my "friends" would read this,they'd laugh in my face and torture me with lame 'nerd jokes' forever.That makes me think that maybe I should enlarge my friend circels.The only problem about that...there's either total nerds with no social life or dummies that got a social life,the ones that combine those two are hard to find.

Time for bed,laters =]

A change of look

I totally changed my blog's appearance cause I felt like the old one was too girl-ish.Hope you  like the new look!Take care ^^

Ever since he was little he wished and he waited to grow up,to be on his feet and follow his dreams.There's so many things he would do and such a short time.He would do everything,if only life were long enough.But having so much to accomplish it pulls him down,all those wishes.He doesn't wait for them to be granted but struggles to achieve everything with his own powers.The only problem is that he never goes all the way,never finishes what he started.He hates that but doesn't know how to change it.How could he?.He hates himself for not having a stronger will,for not going all the way.

In the end all he gets is regrets.

It's latte,the entire town is sleeping.They're all tucked underneath their blankets,deep asleep...lost into the land of dreams.Everyone but her...she refuses to leave the reality.It's like she feels she's not allowed to,she feels trapped and afraid,afraid to pass into the unknown...knowing she can't control it.She walks into the dark room,but you can't hear any noise.Like her feet never touch the old wooden floor,the same floor that normally squeaks every time.It feels surreal,and it scares her...she needs the proof that this is real and not a dream.

The window is open,but she can't hear no wind.Not even the owl that's always by the window,howling in the dark.Is it possible?Did she fall asleep without realizing?Maybe it's just her mind playing games.Paranoia and anxiety takes in,making her unable to move,or giving the impression she can't.She's never been so scared before.She manages to get on the bed,laying there on her back,with her hands symmetrically placed."That's it!" she said,and then she closed her eyes.

Strange feelings

  Thirty-two days,nine hours and thirty-six minutes from the moment I begun to write this.That's when my last high school year starts.It's like a deja vu for some reason,and that's weird.I can almost see "my old desk".It's been recently cleaned so when I get close enough,the smell of  cheap industrial cleaning chemicals floods my nose .It's slightly irritating,but somehow it pleases me...maybe that's because I associate that smell with the new beginning,cause after all,"it's the first day,of the rest of my life".

  

I slowly take my place,slowly observing the environment.Being in the first row I turn around for a moment,taking a short look at the big picture,a small glimpse of my classmates's faces and everything that surrounds me.It feels like I've known them forever,It's like I lived my entire life between those four walls.Trapped inside,but knowing it won't last long before I have to leave.I take a close look at the desk itself.You can still see the scratches I made with my pen for the simple reason I was too bored.Those marks,randomly carved into the wooden desk,those are the only proof of my humble existence as a student in that particular high school,on that one floor,in that very one room,the proof that I,and no one else,was there.

But you and me both know know that those won't last forever,either.

Make a wish!

            It's been a while now since i posted something.The time just passed by i guess...My schedule was pretty full,so to say;I've been busy going to weddings,visiting the country side,having my birthday..Ha!How about that?I just turned 18 few days ago.Most of the people celebrate this age with enthusiasm,they prepare and make plans few months before,they get big parties where they invite all their friends...but not me,I refused to do any of that stuff.Some people would say I'll regret that latter on,and maybe they're right.Maybe I will regret it,maybe I'll wish I would've partied hard and invited lots of people and so on..but right now it doesn't feel that way.I'm not happy nor sad about becoming eighteen,I'm careless (don't know if that's the right word..hope you get what I mean).So what if I'm eighteen?Now I can drink legally,I can go to strip clubs,I can get a driving license (which I am,just signed up for the driving school ^_^) but with all that comes something else...now I am responsible for my actions!I'm supposed to be a grownup now,or to start being one,and that's ok cause I've been waiting for this my whole life and now I got it.The question is:what if I won't like it?Becoming a grownup,being a grownup?I'm sure I've heard this many times "It's the journey that matters,not the destination".We,or I..rush for the destination and not enjoy the journey,the bad thing is that I'm aware of it but I keep doing it.That's just who I am.
This post turned out to be something else than what I was going for,guess I got caught up in the moment.Have a good night bloggers =]

Decisions decisions

How can a person know which decision was the right one?How could one know,left would've been better than right?As since you chose to go one way,the other way is unknown.Is it possible that left was better than right?Yes.Can you know if that possibility verifies to be true?No.You can only assume.People usually tend to assume they made the wrong choice when something goes bad,it's the human nature to blame and question your own decisions,but it's wrong.My point is,overthinking your actions and choices is pointless,you made a choice,you took an action,you made a decision..live with it!Cause in the end,all those decisions you've made your whole life,lead you to where you are right now.Some might take that the wrong way,cause if they're in a crappy situation right now they'll blame themselves...that's not right,cause tomorrow their whole situation might change,so I ask you..were all those bad decisions?Some might not get it,some might take it the wrong way,but I trust some will understand what I'm saying here.All I know is,I've been fascinated by this my whole life.Everytime I must take a decision I think about it for a bit,but then I stop and tell myself "Go with it fool!You might just be happy in the end".I hope someone agrees with me,and remember "Good things might come,to those who wait!"